April 10th, 2016

General conference was so good, obviously you guys know that!  I learned a lot from all the talks and was definitely strengthened by Elder Holland.  I thought of you guys all conference.  One of the biggest themes was families, I was so happy to have such an amazing family.  I can’t wait to get home and have so much fun with you again!  I learned from Conference that it truly will get easier.  I am having such a hard time because it’s not what I’m used to and it’ really hard, stressful, draining, restricting.  But I will come out “refined” from this experience.  So I gotta put in my time and work hard and God will help me.  Hopefully it will start working sometime soon…so as I said we watched Saturday conference at eh church both sessions, it was basically only the missionaries from our zone there, a few other people.  Then we wanted to watch the first session of Sunday at the church with our investigator Eddie, but he wasn’t able to make it.  So we still watched it there, more people besides missionaries this time.  Then we went over to the Waters for the second session, and we had them signed up for dinner that night as well.  So they fed us all after conference and we played the game Curses. 

Sandra and Toby and Jen didn’t get to the Waters for Conference until the end of Elder Oaks talk I think it was, whoever the first speaker was.  They didn’t seem totally into it, obviously.  Toby asked about “quorum” and “seventy” to brother Waters.  Sandra asked us if any young people ever got up there.  Haha, she asked “anyone without white hair?”  Funny cause brother Waters is late 40’s and has white spiky hair, we all laughed at him.  Sandra liked Elder Holland’s.  We really wanted to crash Priesthood session and go watch at the church, we wished .  But we did have a member for dinner, her husband went to watch it at the church, but she had it playing for us as we ate dinner.  We downloaded all those talks though and listened to them, SO GOOD!

Monday we did regular ole P-day stuff.  We emailed a little earlier, we will keep trying to do that now, just so you know.  But I am having such a hard time with emailing!  Like my time was up before I got to emailing President (which we’re supposed to do every p-day) and so I didn’t get to email President.  And I don’t feel like my mass emails are any good.  Ugh.  But after that we had a pretty good zone activity.  The zone leaders had texted us all the night before and told us we were going to do “glow in the dark sports”.  We tried doing capture the flag with glow sticks, it was fun but ended up not really working, we tried other things with the glow sticks.  They set up the volleyball net and we hung them from it, and they broke a few glow sticks and poured in on the volleyball.  We tried that, kind failed, but it was funny.  Then we just played normal volleyball the rest of the day.  It was fun.

We then ate at the Stake Presidents house!  Love them!  And then we had our lesson with Sandra that I told you a little bit about, Brother Lent, our ward mission leader, who we brought to the lesson, was just so excited and just wanted to testify every chance he could get, they were baptized 2 years ago and were sealed a few months ago. 

Tuesday we had an awesome zone meeting.  We also got a new senior couple up in Barstow in our zone now!  They seem sweet, I’m not sure if they will serve there their whole mission or not.  We then tried lots of people who didn’t answer, and we had dinner at home and then went over to Sandra’s.  She was being interviewed by President Pratt, our mission President’s first counselor for her baptism, so we went over there and met him there.  He’s pretty cool.  Interview went well and then we just stayed and talked to her and Jen for a little while.  It was interesting. 

Right now, almost every single one of our investigators aren’t progressing or we’ve only met once and can’t seem to make or keep a return appointment for a first real lesson because they all reschedule a lot.  Sheesh. 

Wednesday literally everyone we had an appointment with canceled that morning.  Sheesh.  2 investigators, 2 less actives, and even our dinner appointment at Sandra’s house.  We didn’t see many people.  Lots of people not home and/or not answering.  We did talk to these people though for a while outside their house, who we’d briefly talked to before, a guy and his fiancé, Zach and Sierra, pretty young.  But the first time we’d talked to them we walked by, it was a warm day, and they were out in their driveway.  He had a hose and was spraying her and they were laughing, he was super drunk, beer in his other hand.  We said hi, told 'em who we were, they said they went to HDC but cool that we were out and they had a church.  He pointed the hose at us and asked us if we “wanted to cool off”, he was totally joking, it was funny, his fiancé told him to stop hassling us, but he was drunk, they were nice enough to us though.  Anyways, so we went back to that same street on Wednesday to visit a potential who lives right next to Zach and Sierra.  We got there and Zach was sitting outside in a chair in his driveway.  He looked nice and sober this time.  We walked up and said hi and asked if he was the one that tried to spray us a few weeks ago.  He had no idea what we were talking about, we then questioned if this was the same guy.  He was like “oh no that must have been our crazy neighbor or something, I would never do that to you guys!”  We were pretty sure it was him, but he had no recollection, he must have been so drunk that first time that he really didn’t remember.  Because then his fiancé came out and he asked her “hey did I try to spray these girls ever?”  And she was like “yeah remember and we told them we had a church.”  Haha, he was like “oh well, gosh I am so sorry.”  Haha, it was funny.  And then we told him we were going to see their neighbor and he said “okay, good luck, if you can make that happen I’ll buy you guys dinner!”  We went over and knocked on the door, we could hear the TV on and I could see inside the house.  We waited there for quite a while and then left.  As we walked back from their door Zach and Sierra had this guy sitting with them.  Zach said “hey he’s over here, he was already outside on his way over here when you knocked and his wife is asleep.”  So we walked up to say hello, though his wife had been the one we were looking for.  We got talking to the three of them for a while.  They asked us lots of questions about our missions and a little of our beliefs and our “restrictions”.  They let us hold their new puppies that were born 2 weeks ago.  They were so nice.  They weren’t interested exactly though, but hey we made a friendship kinda so that was good.  The guy told us to come back the next day in the morning to catch his wife.  We finally talked to someone that day.

We had mormon.org time on Wednesday, I downloaded all of the conference talks, yay!  I also put lots of pics on the USB, I should be sending a box home.  Monday, actually, I’ll just put this letter in it!  Considering it would send the same day anyway.

Thursday we went by that ladies house like her husband said and no answer.  Then we did lots of service at the Homeless shelter, sorted clothes with the Elders.  Was the last time we would see Elder Hurley because he goes home Monday.  Sad, he was super cool.  And we didn’t know it but that was the last time we would see Elder Haueter for now because we heard yesterday he’s getting transferred, he’s one of our zone leaders.  Then we went to go try potentials and lots of people weren’t home.  We went to the top of our area (which is pure desert) and we had 2 potentials on this road called Seneca, so we just tracted that street.  Mostly nobody home, our potentials didn’t answer, people told us no, and then at this one random house we picked up a new investigator!  We knocked on the door and this lady opened up a crack and asked “can I help you” (we get that a lot) we told her who we are and told we have a message and all that and we asked her if we could share that with her and she said sure.  She stepped outside with us because she said she had crazy dogs.  So we told her about how families can be together forever and we have a prophet guiding us from God and told her the brief message of the restoration.  She took it well, we gave her a restoration pamphlet and a Book of Mormon and asked her to read and pray about it and she said she would, we asked if we could come back and she said yes.  She was super cute and sweet.  Hopefully that works out.

Friday we had weekly planning all morning.  We do that for 3-5 hours.  We did a lot, and it rained tons on this day as well.  Then we went out and only saw one person.  A less active man David Love.  He’s 62 and his family lives with him, they’re active/ less active members.  He has lots of dogs.  He works as a car mechanic up in Barstow at some big company, they overwork them and don’t treat them well.  We wanted to tell him of the importance of church, because he doesn’t go.  He’s a convert, he knows the Bible so well.  But we got there and my companion asked why he wasn’t coming and told him the importance and he said he’d go if that wasn’t his only time to sleep.  She told him a relationship with God is like any other, you gotta put in effort to get much in return.  He said, “I can have a relationship with God right here without having to go to church, I read scriptures, I pray.”  Then my companion asked “okay, then why did God command us to go to church?”  Then we talked and she read him Isaiah 58:11, 13-14 where it talks about the Sabbath day.  He was caught up on the fact that he wakes up every day at 3 am, works 6 days a week, never gets peace at home with his family there, etc.  Finally he was like Okay I’ll try and see if God refreshes me just from going to church.  He says he doesn’t learn anything at church.  We’ll see how it goes.

Yesterday, Saturday we did tons of service…from 8 am to 10:30 am we went and helped with “clean the desert” day.  Our ward signed up for a stretch of desert through town and we picked up trash, we had little grabber things.  It was so windy.  Then after lunch and studies we helped this lady from the ward right next to us weed her entire lawn from about 1:30 to 4:00.  The Elders and a member invited us to come help and a few other missionaries.  We actually live in their ward.  Our apartment isn’t even isn’t even in our area.  That was some hard work, dirty, it was cold. Then we went and had ward correlation with Brother Lent.  Then we had dinner.  Then we met with Dina Rifner.  She’s the only one we saw all day, it was very interesting.  She’s a less active lady we always knock on her door but she rarely answers.  But this night she opened and let us in.  She was very heated and angry because I guess about 10 minutes earlier she had just gotten in a big ole fight (not physically) with her neighbor.  Oh she told us all about it.  Then she started to calm down and says she’s sorry and then she was like “Wow, God sent you guys right at the perfect time I just realized.”  And it was really the perfect time.  We calmed her a little bit, she cried, she knew she had said bad words.  Somehow we got into the Plan of Salvation and she was very interested, she didn’t remember it at all.  We read her some scriptures and talked with her for a long time.  God really did send us there. 

And now today is Sunday!  It’s the 10^th!  Now I’ve officially been out for 2 months!  16 ½ now to go…still really struggling.  Anyways, today after studies we went to go see a potential Mosi.  We saw her in the area book a few weeks earlier and had went by once, but she was on her way out (she’s probably mid-20s) she’s super nice and cute.  She said she grew up with tons of Mormon friends, grew up going to Young Women’s every Sunday and Wednesday, she’s trying to help her friends from other churches see how great our church teaches.  She loves us so much.  We went back this morning, and I’m so glad we did.  She was there, totally welcomed us in, and for about 10-15 minutes sat there and told us how amazing we were.  And that even when someone slams a door in our face God is so happy with the work we are doing, and he needs us to help those who listen.  I honestly got teary eyed.  She sat there forever telling us how amazing we were and inspiring our hearts.  I know God sent us to her house for her, but mostly for me.  She told us to come by whenever, especially if we have a bad day.  Sweetest thing, I really felt the Spirit.  Last night I had been praying to feel God’s love because I was having a hard time truly feeling it, and then God sent us to Mosi.  Wow, I just realized that.  That was a quick answer to my prayers. 

Then, since it was fast Sunday and we came home for an hour for “lunch” but didn’t eat, I just wrote this letter, parts of it.  Then we had church.  Wow church was so amazing.  Testimony meeting was great.  We taught the youth Sunday school the Restoration and Apostasy.  Then in third hour Relief Society we talked about prophets and talks that have changed our lives.  One sister, Sister Thorup, probably late 50’s got up and told her experience of going on a mission.  She wasn’t going, her Stake President made her fill out her papers, she still said she wasn’t going, and she went to General Conference in 1985 and heard this talk by Elder Hartman Rector  (Oct. 1985).  I don’t know what it’s called.  I need to print it out.  Anyways I can’t remember exactly what he said but he said something like even if you don’t want to do what God has for you, that’s okay, do it anyway.  And then we heard about Elder Holland’s talk from this conference that said you get points for just trying.  I felt the Spirit so strongly, comfort me, and give me peace.  It’s okay I don’t want to do this, do it anyway though, I’ll grow and learn to love it, just try.  I cried.  I knew that was exactly just for me.  Then we tried to see our investigators Clay and Brittany, no luck, Brittany wasn’t home, how do we get ‘em progressing! 

I love you guys so much!

Love, Courtney

April 1, 2016

Family, wow... Hi guys! I love you all so much! Sorry it's been so long since I've written a letter about some of my experiences. It's been a crazy 2 weeks. But for the record, the last time I got a letter from anyone was over a week ago :-( That's okay, I know you guys are busy!

So, I'm doing good. I'm learning a lot. Obviously. I'm growing, learning, failing, trying again. This work is hard, and draining. But I'm learning that it's all worth those 300 people a day (dramatic number obviously) telling us to go away, for that one person who needs to hear what we have to say-- it does suck though because there's not humble people in this area... Very few. So rarely anyone wants to hear from us. It does suck. Anyways, Lots has happened lately that I share with you! Sorry this letter will be so long!

First thing, as you already know from my previous letters, we had been sick, and Monday morning we got a blessing from the elders. We called our Zone leaders Elder Haueter and Elder Shumway to do it for us, and they brought a set of other Elders with them from nearby Elder Golden and Elder Faussett. So Elder Golden anointed me with the oil, and Elder Haueter gave me the sealing and blessing. It was really good, because he gave me a blessing that I would overcome my sickness and get better, etc. And then in the blessing he said “at this time I'd like to bless you and tell you that your family is doing well. They are doing okay, and your service is truly blessing their lives, and they are very proud of you. They will be ok, and God need you to know that they love you.” I felt the spirit very strongly when he said it-- he doesn't know me all that well, he doesn't know the struggle I've been having, he was told to bless me so that I could get better and do well. It was a true blessing from God, I knew he had spoken by the spirit. It gave me some peace. Anyways the rest of that P-day was like the most boring. Ever. First of all I apologize for not having much time to email, that sucks. And then there was no Zone activity, and my companion doesn't really care for just going out and doing much, so we came home from emailing and just sat around for 3 hours... Did nothing! So I transferred all my notes for my old scriptures during that time.
Wednesday was pretty crazy. I told you guys about Raelynn, our investigator and told Dad in some of his letters more about a few of the experiences. So we went to go see her first thing that morning. I was so nervous for this lesson, I didn't know how it would go, wondered if I'd studied well enough, I was wondering if they'd read any of the Book of Mormon and was nervous for everything. We get there, knock on the door, she let us in. We ask if she has time to meet with us today. She hands us The Book of Mormons we gave them and said “well just no. Sorry I just don't believe what you believe.”  So that was big, she totally dropped us. So we said alrighty have a good day, and left. Never to return... But you know, I wasn't too worried about it... Tried my best, we tried our best. But after her, we went to see our investigator Wendy. We hadn’t planned too much of a lesson for her, except just to follow up. We got there, she let us in, we talked with her, she hadn't read any, had been too busy. So we read over the introduction to the Book of Mormon with her. She didn't have too much commentary. She's kind of shy. She just said how regardless if her husband wants to or not (which he doesn't really care about religion) she wants to raise her son with something religious. She goes to First Assembly of God, here it’s a Pentecostal Church. She said it's weird and it's not really comfortable, “people talk in tongues”randomly and she hasn't gone in a while. She wants to come to one of ours. She went before when she was younger with her cousins to our church. We asked her to really pray to know what the truth is and what God wants her to do. She said she would. That went pretty well. Then, that day we tried a whole lot of people who weren't home or didn't want to talk to us. We then had a lesson with Sister Witter, a less active member, whose husband is not a member and believes in the Great Indian chief is God. I think I told you before about him. He has bone cancer. Anyway, we got there and he was there with us, and her daughter and we talked with them for a while just about stuff, try to be friendly. Then we started with our thoughts, asking them how they knew God loves them, they gave so many good reasons. We told them “how does God know you love him?” And we talked about that. And then Sister Thomason had a genius prompting to read Alma 18: 24 - 32. It totally related to her husband Bob, it was so good! Then we had dinner with the Greens at Olive Garden for a late happy birthday from them to Sister Thomason. The Greens are awesome, young couple, three boys, her father is our Bishop. I had her send the picture of us to Mom, and saw mom that you replied :-) :-) :-) hope you guys like that!
Then, that day we got a text from Sandra our investigator. She had come to church on Easter and her husband came, with her, which really surprised us! So she text us and said “ hey when can we meet next? And I think my hubby wants to sit in.” what! So cool! We were thrilled, we set up an appointment for the next day. So so so cool.

Then Thursday we did service at the homeless shelter with a few companionships in our Zone. We then went and met with this artistic 28 year old guy Charles, he's a member, recent convert a few years. He lives in our boundaries, but goes to the young single adult ward, in Apple Valley. His mom is a less active member who he lives with. They initially would go over, because he would ask to be taught, but they wanted to meet the mom. So we go over almost every week and just give him a nice thought. We can never get in to meet the mom. Anyways, then went and walked, tried lots of people, a few who had met missionaries before, said we could come back, lots of people turned us down. Then we met this guy Dan on the street. He was painting the house numbers on the curbs at people's houses. We were walking, he stopped and talked to us. Thought it was cool “girls our age were out spreading the word” and he said “I hope to find a nice girl like you girls one day, from Utah” it was funny. We gave him an Easter card. Then we had dinner at the Cuevas’s house. It was interesting. The Cuevas family mainly speak Spanish, but sister Cuevas switched to our Ward to learn English. She is our Relief Society president. She speaks good English but doesn't understand as well. And I guess because of her culture when she feeds us, we go in, she has two plates of food, drink, and dessert set up... Just for us. She serves us, and either sits there and just talked with us, or goes and does something if she's busy. So yeah, she doesn't actually eat with us. The rest of the family doesn't either. It was kind of weird. And she gave us so much food and little Easter presents,  it was really good. And she's sweet.

Then we went to have our lesson was Sandra!!! We asked brother Waters to come with us, for her husband, and he brought his son-in-law Donovan. Brother Waters is a good friendshipper of Sandra, and can relate perfectly to Toby.   When they had come on Sunday they'd stayed for gospel principles class. Luckily we didn't have to teach it. Sandra's been before, they both seem to like it. Toby (her husband) seemed interested and has asked questions. We gave them all gospel principles book to keep. They apparently through the week had been reading the book, super cool! And Sandra finally started reading in the Book of Mormon! She was so excited when we got there! Sad thing is, that week when she’d been reading, she had gotten so excited and had tried to call us but we had been busy and then she forgot all what she thought was so cool. Anyways so the lesson went so well, we started answer her questions from some of the concepts in the Gospel Principles book.  Asked Toby what questions he had.  He said he had questions about the restoration, but he’d save them for us for another time so we can get to Sandra's lesson. He also said he really liked it there. He liked that the bishop came and introduced himself, and the other people came up to meet him too. He said he never met the pastor at HTC (High desert church) and there so many people, nobody acknowledges his existence, he liked how ours did, and we had one on one classes, and we would openly answer his questions. It made me so happy to hear him say that!! He really felt the love. The spirit has totally been working in that house. (By the way they have two kids of their own living at home, 2 married kids, and 3 foster kids that live with them). So we taught the word of wisdom and tithing, and then just talked with them, answered their questions, testified. It was really good. And other kids were lingering in the area nearby, the whole time, intrigued :-) Sandra even said it herself; we're going to be stuck in that house forever! Haha! Started with her daughter Jen, then Sandra, now Toby, and now two of her foster kids said they “want to sit in next time”! So cool! One of them asked for a Book of Mormon of their own! Then we called Sandra this morning and she said both her and Toby had been reading!!!! You don't even know how happy that makes me! I can see their whole family getting closer and happier because of the gospel and turn their life! Then when we left Toby even said “see you Sunday!” which sucks because we had to explain there's no church, but we told him about General Conference and Brother Waters invited them to his house to watch with his family and have lunch, and today Sandra asked us for his number because they wanted to watch conference with them!! Yay so happy! Sandra is excited for her baptism, she wants all her family there to see her and then she said “feel inspired”. Sandra is so awesome and so funny! I love her! Jen has been out of town at her sister’s but really hopefully this week will see her and set up her new baptismal date.

 So anyways... Yeah Thursday we were out walking, trying people and I was like man, this really sucks, nobody wants to hear from us, why do I even try. So I prayed in my head and just asked God to please help us help change someone's life today, directly after we went down, and then later we had our lesson with Sandra and Toby . That's why I said earlier in this letter that I guess the millions of people that tell us no are worth those few who we can help. I don't know why I can't get that through my head. Okay I swear this letters ending soon, I'm sorry! But today's been probably in the top ten hardest days for me mentally... I don't understand why this is so hard for me. I'm better now. I realized we have to try to give everyone the chance to accept the gospel. God is not just going to throw us the ones who will accept us, we've got to go through the people that don't care. We have to give everyone a chance and we have to show God we are willing to “feed his sheep”. Man this is a really hard lesson that is going to take me awhile to truly learn. Because even though I know these things, I still am not accepting them. Man, pray that I will get over this I just keep dreaming about the day I return home, and I truly can't wait to get off the plane and hug you all, but this is the worst battle going on in my head right now, I know I need to find joy in my work here now. I have to not just suck it up, but truly embrace it. It's hard when I feel that I personally I'm not changing anyone's life. God's teaching me this lesson and I'm squirming.  But don’t worry about me. This will all be for my good and I'll come out stronger. God keep showing me the scriptures: D&C 122: 7-9 and Alma 26: 27 and Alma 31: 30 - 33, 35, 38. Why can't I learn this already? It will come... I know.
I hope you all know how ridiculously much I love you guys. I thank God everyday for such an amazing family, I don't deserve to be so blessed! By the time you get this General Conference will be over, but I'm so excited for that, it's going to be so good! I truly love and miss you. I pray for all of you all the time.

I love you!

Love, Courtney

March 17, 2016- St. Patrick's Day!

Family

I don't even know how to describe how my day went yesterday... We went on exchanges with the sister training leaders and I went with Sister Bergstrom to Apple Valley. It sucked and was good. We had some terrible experiences and some great experiences. First of all I'll tell about the most terrible experience, probably the worst of my mission so far... We were tracting this street, looking for a girl who lives somewhere there. We knocked on this door, just trying to share the gospel... And this guy opens up, we say “Hi, how are you”, he says “fine”, we tell him that we are missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and he says, “are you kidding me!?” And proceeded to just rip us apart for like 10 minutes straight on his doorstep. Says stuff like “you guys know I only get a day off every 10 days and every freakin day you guys are on the street ringing my doorbell, I'm just having some time for myself with myself, I don't need you guys.” "We don't want to hear from you. Tell your pope in Utah, whoever it is to write down this house and to never send anyone ever again! I especially don't want to hear from you because of your buddy Mitt Romney starting out all his crap that I don't agree with.” Blah blah blah he goes on and on and on being so inhumanely rude. Sister Bergstrom and I both had tears in our eyes, but she just calmly said sorry, etc. Tried to leave-- he continued to be the biggest jerk on the planet, "I'm going to put a freaking gate up so you all will just get the he** away!" So we left and just walk down the road in silence for a few minutes and sat down on the curb side. So yeah. That happened.

But we did have a few good experiences as well. A girl named star who has lots of emotional / mental problems and lots of health problems, we went and helped her, strengthen her and it was so good, her situation makes me cry... So many people have such terrible lives. She was really happy that we had come over. We also saw lots of other people. But when I came back home to Sister Thomason they've gotten four new investigators that day!!! Three of whom I'd met, and one brand new one. So hopefully the work will start getting so good over here in Victorville! Please pray that it will! I love and miss you guys so much you don't even know the struggle I mentally have every day... I want to go home so bad, but I know God needs me to sacrifice for him right now and have a good attitude about it. Ugh, I'm trying, it's so hard. Especially when you sometimes have such hard days. I'm getting used to this though.

I love you!

I miss you!

Love,

Court

March 12, 2016

Family!!!Today was the. Best. Day. Ever. Oh my gosh! So much happiness was had! So I started off my day going to the mission conference with Elder Bednar!!! And I saw Esther!!! Oh yes! I can't believe it! It was so great! I was so happy! We talked a lot after the conference was over, it was so awesome! I missed her so much! She's doing so good! It helped me a lot to see her and talk with her again! I'm doing much better now. She's still as cute as ever! By the time you guys get this I have already told you all about today I'm sure, and I'll have sent you our picture. But, Elder Bednar... Wow, the conference was so good!!! It was good also because it was so small, only 170 have us missionaries. He talked for so long, and was so straight up and real with us. It was so great. And we all got to shake he and his wife's hand!! It was absolutely amazing there's so much he talked about. What Sister Bednar said was amazing too. And then president and sister Hobbs talked a little bit, and our area seventy and his wife that were there. So good. I wish you could have been there all of you, because I'm not a very good explaining other people's words. I'll try to give you some of what I remember from my notes.

So sister Bednar started out telling a few stories from when her sons went on missions. It was really good. A few important points she made were: 1) develop a love for these people you spend one and a half to two years with. It's not only a love for them but also love for the Lord. 2) The Lord will bless your work, and every person you talk to or knock on doors, will be hallowed by your night. On your name tag, your name, your family's name, Jesus Christ's name, and the church's name are all on there. That's all who you represent. Glorify those names and all you do. 3)  It's the last dispensation already it's your job to prepare the world. So don't hold back, and just go! I felt the spirit so strongly as she was saying these things, because all of this is what I have been praying and asking about. She shared Doctrine and Covenants 84: 87 - 88 "behold I send you to reprove the world of other and righteousness unrighteous deeds, and it takes them of a judgment which is to come and who stole receive with you, there I will be also for eye will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my spirit shopping in your hearts, and mine angels rent about you, to bear you up". I love that. 

Then Elder Bednar talked for a long time. He told us not to write down everything he said. To take notes on "small plates" the important stuff, not "large plates", like Nephi. Then he taught us some do's and don'ts. He also asked us what we learn from the three talks of his he had told us to read before that meeting. Which talked about faith, conversion and the spirit. He gave us feedback, Taught us more, asked us for questions etc. Here are a few points he said: in the church we tend to play "guess what's in my head." When you do that you turn the person from an agent into an object. And you cannot feel the spirit. All your planning and studying won't cover it anyway. The Holy Ghost will. You have to be the willing instrument. The Holy Ghost reveals truth. Pray to see who you really are. Ask inspired questions. And inspired question is specific to the person, the place, and the time. Pray with the expectation to act. If you are truly doing what you're called to do, you cannot go amiss. There's tasks we have to do (study, be obedient, plan, pray plan, etc).  To allow the Holy Ghost to teach, get out of the way! The Lord gives a pattern in all things: one by one. You want those people your age to have a one on one interaction with heaven. Them and the Holy Ghost. Learn to get out of the way. The Holy Ghost comes more readily and willingly when he is invited. There's not repentance without the Redeemer. Sorrow of the Damned is not repentance, it's embarrassment. We need to feel Godly sorrow. Repentance is to turn from self to Christ. Faith is a spiritual gift, but it is not given unless you take this step. Don't avoid the hard aspects of missionary work. Be you,  and the Holy Ghost will help guide. Spiritual apathy is the church's biggest plague. You expect greatness all at once - line upon line - press forward, this Mission isn't a sacrifice; you were foreordained to do it. Listen to the spirit and honor your covenants and the spirit will work on those of whom you love you don't believe or care when you can't change them. So yeah, I definitely felt the spirit, and felt strengthened. It made me so happy. 

So then after we got home from the meeting we had an appointment with Eddie. He had just walked up to the church on Wednesday night looking for a church service. There were people there for Mutual, so the stake president saw him and started talking to him. He had just moved back and was looking for a church close by. President told him we didn't have a Wednesday service, but we had Sundays, and told him there were some missionaries he could talk to, so he gave us his number and we made an appointment to meet him at the church with an older couple from our Ward. So we got there and he's an hour late... But he comes in and starts talking to us, seems like a very nice guy. First thing he says is "sorry, do you want to have a prayer to start this?" We thought, "well, that was easy." He said yes and had a prayer. After, he said, "okay let me tell you where I'm at, so you can know more about me..." Haha, he was doing our job for us! He went on to say how over the years God has been softening his heart and affecting him, he has a son, his father died recently and that makes him sad a lot. He said he's going to many churches and he just thinks none of them are truly what God teaches. He said in the Bible so much, like well, he's probably in his late thirties, he knows the Bible front to back! We got in teaching the restoration and he seems to accept it pretty well! He was so prepared as possible! We gave him a book of Mormon and he said he'd read and pray about it and come to church tomorrow! The only problem we had during this lesson is the older couple wouldn't shut up the whole time, and they went into things we didn't need to go into at this point. It was very frustrating. But anyways so prepared. I was so confident and ready I knew he was so prepared, and so was I, God told me there's no way you can miss them! So yeah, it was so exciting! It made me so happy! Sorry I always share such long stories with you I hope you like to hear them! I'm doing alright. I miss you all so much. Hopefully I write you enough. Keep asking questions! I love you! I miss you! Love, Court

March 10, 2016

Family!
Today is the one month Mark since I left home! It's been a month! Wow. It feels like forever, but yet it also feels like I just left. I'm doing better. Your prayers and your fasting for me are working! I just got a lot of your mail finally today, it was like Christmas I felt so happy getting letters. 
So I have an amazing experience to share with you from yesterday the whole first half of my day for me was amazing. So first of all that morning we had studies, that was really good. Then we had some mormon.org time, and I watched a lot of great videos. I spent a lot of time searching and watching lots of different videos on the Mormon Channel. I listened to some great songs to and added some to the USB drive I still have. I was feeling very inspired, I was definitely feeling the spirit. Then later after lunch we went out to go see people. One good experience today was with Hank. I guess the Spanish Elders had tracked it into him and referred him over to us. The first time we had met him he was all for hearing from us, we gave him a book of Mormon and he was excited to read. So yesterday when we went by he had read the introduction and the first four chapters of Nephi! He had some questions about it for us. We talked about baptism because he had been curious about what steps it takes an our church to be baptized. We invited him to church, he didn't know if he could yet, but we had a really good talk with him. He could turn into a really good investigator. Then we visited a very interesting lady, a less active member of the church, sister Hearan. She probably has at least 15 cats living in her home with her and a few teenage kids. Anyways, she's been having a really rough time lately physically, and her family, medical, personally, financially, etc... So it's really difficult for her right now. She started crying because she felt so inadequate. We shared a thought with her and tried to strengthen her. Then we had an appointment with sister Hilquist, they're a less active family. This was a highlight of my day, maybe week. But oh, before I go into that I have to tell about the talk I read on our lunch break. It's called the fourth missionary it was given at a mission conference long ago by the mission president to his missionaries. Wow... It changed my life forever. You have to go read it! I don't know if you guys can find it somewhere, if not, let me know and I'll send you a copy. It's called "The Fourth Missionary" by Lawrence E Corbridge given June 22nd, 2002. It doesn't only apply to missionaries, you can apply it to anyone's life.. Go read it. Wow. So anyways. In it, it explains four different types of missionaries: the first two types are disobedient, the second 2 ( 3rd and 4th) are obedient. It talks about how most missionaries are the third missionary - they go through their whole missions obedient, worthy, hard-working, faithful, and change lives, but withhold in their hearts... As in, wants to follow God's Will, and does, but still in their hearts truly want to be doing what they want to be doing... I realized that is me. Entirely and completely. I am the third missionary exactly. I'm doing what God wants me to do, but I still have the desires of what I actually would rather be doing in my heart. I haven't really given up my wants and desires and giving God my whole self to be a missionary and to truly align my life will with God's. I need my mission to change the lives of many others. But when I get home, I need my mission to have personally benefited me. Not just even learning good skills, but really having changed myself from it. I need to be the missionary that "unconditionally surrenders"  my time, talent, energy, but most importantly, myself. So as I was reading this talk I thought "I know I am definitely the third missionary... That is obedient and trying hard, but my whole heart is not in it. And I don't know how to, God... But I really really want to be, and I need to be the fourth missionary - the missionary that unconditionally surrenders myself. I know it's the only intelligent thing to do. But I don't know how. God, please please please help me." And I knew then, that I had started the hardest quest of a lifetime. Also the night before, I had been praying to find joy in my work and to acquire confidence and to be bold. And the quote from the movie Evan Almighty popped into my head. It said, "when people pray for their family to be closer, does God zap them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?" I knew God reminded me of that. God is giving me many opportunities to be bold, to share the gospel, to help people... I just got to stop being a scaredy-cat and take those opportunities. So as you see from these experiences I'm just struggling with submitting my will truly to God, and understanding had to be the best missionaries that God needs me to be. 
So now, back to Sister Helquist. So they're less active and really want to come to church, but they have four younger kids and her husband crazy days/ hours always on weekends, its just hard for them to make it. We went in talked with her and she gave us snacks, and just for a long time we simply talk with her, got to know her and had a good conversation. Then we asked if we could share a message. So we shared parts of the introduction the Book of Mormon and told and reminded her of its importance and challenge her to read often. Sister Thomason asked her why the Book of Mormon is important. Sister Hilquist is a convert by the way. She has so many things to say about it importance and she said she'd started trying to read again the other day when sister Thomason had her turn to the introduction she said "looks like God is trying to tell me something, because just yesterday I had started reading the introduction to the Bible to start with the Bible and Book of Mormon, what a "coincidence"." My companion continued to tell her how we can get so much out of the Book of Mormon and how we can feel the spirit so much when we read. The whole time while she was talking, some thoughts entered my mind that I needed to say the importance of reading your scriptures and obeying God shows him what you want. To say when you follow God, He blesses you. That's all my thoughts were. So as sister Thomason ended her thoughts mostly, I took over. I told her that not only do the scriptures help us and we can feel the spirit and get answers, but as we read them, since God has commanded us to, it is showing God what we want. By obeying God, showing him we want to do as he says, not just by saying so, God can bless us. And then just as I said that, this scripture popped out of my mouth, and I had no idea that I even thought about saying it: "I the Lord am bound when you do what I say but when you do not what I say, you have no promise." And I kind of paused. I didn't even remember that I had the scripture memorized, and at the time I didn't even know the reference. But it's Doctrine and Covenants 82:10. I continued to explain that as we obey and truly try to follow him, He blesses us and helps us, he has to, and he wants to! But if we don't do what he says, and we just simply claim that we'd like to be doing God's will, he doesn't have to do anything for us, and he can't. I paused, and I could see there were some tears In her eyes. She then said " oh my gosh... That scripture that you just quoted was the scripture that missionaries read to me the moment I committed to be baptized... And no one has ever said that to me since..." I felt the spirit flood me. She said: "wow, that's no coincidence... Seriously that exact scripture." And we all just sat there kind of in awe. I knew that God had "given me in the very hour what I should say." We then testified of the Book of Mormon in our lives and she said she'd try to get to church because her husband won't work weekends starting next month, and then we left. I couldn't believe what just had happened I really had followed the spirit, and had been an instrument in the Lord's hands. I'm so grateful for that experience, and hopefully I can continue to help sister Hilquist, and continue letting the Holy Ghost speak through me. 
So yeah, I'm sorry this letter is so long, I just had to share that with you. I felt really good can't wait for General Conference, then can't wait to talk to you guys on Mother's day, I miss you so much! Keep sending pictures and keeping up with everything that is happening! I love you all so much! Love, Courtney

March 8, 2016

Family,

So guess what…so you know I’ve been having a REALLY hard time.  Homesickness hurt me so bad, I haven’t been feeling the best about this whole mission thing…I didn’t really like it at all, I missed you all, I dreaded going into every appointment, I just didn’t want to do this.  It was hurting me and I wasn’t comfortable with any of it, you guys, know this all…so last night I received my strength.  I think it’s been in the workings for the past two days.  Sunday we had lunch with this sweet mid/older couple and they were just super fun.  We later had dinner at the Waters families’ house.  They have two daughters, one is married, and her and her husband were there as well.  They are such a cool family and brother Waters is so strengthening.  We had a great time there telling stories and having good talks.  I got some strength from them, we were talking about how to truly have faith, and to rely on God, and how you aren’t usually shown or rewarded until after the trial of your faith.  Then their married daughter and son in law told us about the funny stories of how they met, and some other cool stories, it finally made me feel at home.  Then Monday, yesterday was P-day, we shopped and did whatever we wanted, then we did zone sports, which was fun.  Finally just getting together as missionaries and having fun.  I needed it.  Then we had dinner with the Garcias, a young family, our new Stake President.  They are such a sweet family, we taught the Restoration, challenged them to pray for missionary opportunities and we just had a really good talk.  They’re so cool.  They made me feel at home too.  So on our way to our appointments for the night after dinner, I noticed I finally wasn’t dreading getting out of the car.  And suddenly I noticed that the weight on my shoulders had been lifted a little.  I noticed my trial was still there, I still miss you, and I’m still scared of mission life, but suddenly my burdens were made light.  I couldn’t believe it.  It didn’t hurt as bad.  I know it is because you guys had a family fast for me. 

So I just wanted to let you know that.  I received some of the strength I’ve been praying so hard for.  Not fully, because I still miss you like crazy and still have to learn how to be bold and confident, but my burdens were made a little lighter.  So I’m doing much better than I was.  Thank you for fasting and for all you prayers.  God heard and answered them.  It means so much to me.

I still hurt, I’m still a scaredy cat, I still miss you guys, but God lifted my burdens so they are easier to bear.

I just had to tell you guys that.  Don’t worry about me too much, I’ll be okay.  But keep praying and keep trusting God; you guys are the best family ever.

Keep looking for ways to help others increase their faith in Christ, and helping people is happy because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Trust him, that he’s commanded you to share the gospel, and if you have the desire he will help you do it.  Try to read scriptures with real intent every day and to the things he’s asked.  That’s how he blessed you, if you’re obeying him.

I hope you all have a great week!

I love you guys so much!

Love,

Courtney

March 3, 2016

Dear Family,

I forgot to tell you on e-mail, but on the 12^th, next weekend, ELDER BEDNAR is coming to speak in our mission!!!  I’m so excited, that is a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Should be so cool!  And yah that’s Bray’s b-day too.

So finally last night we got to actually go shopping!  I didn’t get to shop for everything due to time, but I finally got some stuff. By the way if you, Mom, have a good buttermilk pancake powder, I just don’t know what to add to make it.  Got it a t Winco, grocery store kinda similar to Costco, they carry bulk foods.

Anyways, thanks for having Joshua send me his talk, I really needed to hear it.  Definitely made me cry.  It was so good. He’ll be such a good missionary!

Thank you for fasting and praying for me.  I’ve really needed it.  You guys are the best family I could have ever asked for.  It’s still very hard to be out here in a place I don’t like too much, with people I don’t really know, having to try and share something with people who usually don’t care what we have to say and missing you guys so much.  But like Joshua said, if Christ went through  much worse, can’t I suffer a little for him and let it strengthen me?  Sheesh, I’m tryin' Fam.  I love you!

Dad, thank you and Mom thank you for all the very highly inspiring emails you wrote.  They made me cry of course and miss you guys even more.  You’re the best parents.

Every Thursday morning from 10am-12pm we help out at the homeless shelter here in Victorville.  Lots of missionaries from our zone go.  It’s not a big facility and it’s not the best well run but we help whatever we can, sorting and crushing bags of trash, clothes, shoes, etc.  (Don’t worry I definitely wear gloves).  The temple was so good.  So pretty.

It’s warm during the days here, but after the sun starts to set we need jackets.  Today was a bit colder all day though.  My companion is the designated driver that means I can’t ever drive until I’m names designated driver.  You’re usually only that once you’re a senior companion. S o yeah I have to be the backer-outer…so much fun.  Tell Rand this also: you’d be proud of me what I ate at a member’s for dinner, cooked broccoli, cooked asparagus and just a chicken breast, (no not breaded) and I ate it, all of it, just fine.  Had Del Taco for the first time on Tuesday.  It’s supposed to be better than Taco Bell, but their quesadillas didn’t have the good jalapeño sauce like Taco Bell.  Haha.  I’m sure everything else is better though.

Oh I never got to tell you, our investigator at the MTC who we really did think was an investigator committed to be baptized so we told the Resource Center and I think she really is!  We swapped emails!  That was way cool cuz we had so many so spiritual lessons with her.

There’s this guy Hank though, lives out on a desert road and he really want to hear about the gospel, we’ve been by twice and he started in on the BOM hopefully he’ll continue, he seemed really excited.  We extended the baptismal invitation; he said next week we can teach him about that and what all that means so he’ll have to see.  He’s younger, pretty cool.

Another guy, Jose we found the other day trying to find his brother who was in our area book. HE and his girlfriend are looking for a new church, we gave him the Restoration pamphlet, and he was working on his car, so we’ll follow up this week.  He seemed very open and curious.  So cool. 

We visit so many less actives, most basically inactive and there’s so many that just have these wacked ideas and believe what they believe and I can tell don’t want to change or come back, or even try.  I really don’t know how to help those ones at all!

The bishop seems super cool.  He’s probably in his 60’s, Hispanic, super nice.  He’s super sweet and funny and cares about us.  There’s some cool members, just hard to get to know people.  So yeah this weekend is their, our, stake conference.  They’re getting a new presidency!

Next weekend Elder Bednar is coming to speak to us!  Awesome!  Maybe I’ll see Esther there, that will probably be the only time.

We get 2 hours of mormon.org time a week.  Just to get familiar with it, if we want.

District meetings are Tuesdays, that’s when I’ll get any mail from the mission office from that week, cuz our zone leaders get all our mail on Mondays.

Oh yeah, this girl Cassie is really interested too they’d met with her “she loves Jesus” we gave her a BOM and she was so excited to read she just wants to “follow Jesus what he wants for her.”

I’m doing alright.  Trying to understand how I can grow from this trial.  It hurts; I miss you guys so much.  But I need it.  Hopefully I can figure out how to be the missionary God need me to be. 

I hope you like the pictures, I love you all!

Love, Sister Day